


Interludes

by Elisacollette



Series: Rhythm of Life [4]
Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/F, Family, Fluff, Humor, birds and the bees
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-04-24 12:36:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14355645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elisacollette/pseuds/Elisacollette
Summary: Between the drama of finding romance and - years later - sending their daughters to Barden, Chloe and Beca have quite a few adventures and fun times with their little loves.  Short one-shots that fall into the Rhythm of Life Series (Beautiful Tree Universe).  Unrelated and out of sequence unless otherwise noted.  First Up:  Aunt Stacie, Human Reproduction, and Picture Books.





	1. Chapter 1

So this was unexpected. I'm loving writing in this universe, but as I work on With a Little Help (From My Friends) where Chloe and Beca begin their romantic relationship, I miss writing them as mothers. So I've been working on little snip-its here and there. I think you will enjoy.

* * *

 

**Stacie, Human Reproduction, and Picture Books**

Beca had been expecting to have the birds and bees talk with her girls – or, in fact, convincing Chloe to handle it – when they were eleven or twelve. She was not prepared then, when her eight-year-old daughter brought up the subject as she walked into the house after a long day of recording. "Where do babies come from?" Bella asked, inquisitive eyes staring up at her mother. Beca blinked as she took in the question, then her tongue played along her teeth as she thought about her options. She looked at Chloe, working at the stove, who shrugged and smiled. Beca looked back to study the seriousness of her daughter, tapped a few times on her phone, and handed it to the little girl.

"Here, ask Aunt Stacie."

"Rebecca!" Chloe hissed, from across the kitchen. Beca shrugged at her wife. They both watched as Bella squinted and waited through the rings. Finally, Stacie must have answered.

"Hi, Aunt Stacie!" The little girl said. "I'm good. But I asked Mama where babies come from. She told me to ask you." She listened for several minutes and then said, "Ok. Yep. I will. Love you too. Bye."

She hung up and handed the phone back to Beca. Chloe and Beca both stared at her. It hadn't been a long enough conversation for anything – let alone that topic. "What did she say?"

Bella shrugged. "Some stuff I didn't understand. Then she said she was coming over. She said she expects to be fed – and she wants the wine ready." Any other time, Stacie giving them orders about dinner and wine through their eight-year-old would have amused Beca. Now, she was just kind of astonished.

"What stuff didn't you understand?" Chloe asked curiously. "Was it about babies?"

"No, it was about Mama," Bella said. "What's a prude?"

Beca rolled her eyes and shook her head and spoke with a bit of exasperation. "Look it up. Go wash your hands for dinner and tell your sisters to do the same. Clearly, we're having company for dinner." Once Bella was gone, Beca made a face at Chloe. "I can't believe Stacie called me a prude – to our daughter."

"It's your fault," Chloe reminded her. "It was your brilliant idea to call her. You could have just made up something about the stork." She smiled slyly at her wife. "And, you are kind of a bit of a prude." Beca's jaw dropped and she glared at her wife. Chloe grinned teasingly in response. "You better go get the wine –" Beca grumbled but walked out to their garage where the white wines and champagnes were locked in a special refrigerator. The type of wine Stacie preferred was expensive – and she well knew it. Beca removed a bottle of the expensive Riesling – then thought better and took two - and went back into the kitchen to find her girls setting the table for six.

Once dinner was over, Stacie spoke to the three girls. "I brought new books – want to read them with me?" All three nodded. "Okay – let's go in the living room – and bring your moms."

Beca and Chloe exchanged panicked glances and then looked at Stacie.

"Oh, you're at least sitting through this," Stacie told them in a whisper. "I'm not doing all your dirty work." Vera grabbed Beca's hand and Poppy grabbed Chloe's, pulling them towards the living room. They curled up on the largest sofa, with Stacie in the middle, Vera in her lap, and a twin on each side. Beca and Chloe capped the ends. Stacie showed them the first book: _It's NOT The Stork!: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families, and Friends_.

"Bella asked a really good question today," Stacie told them. "Where do babies come from? Do you know?"

"I'm guessing not from the stork," Poppy quipped. Stacie smiled.

"Indeed, no. Let's see what we find." She opened the book and began reading. The girls were enchanted – mostly because they simply loved being read to. And Stacie was one of their favorite readers, after Chloe. But they were also paying attention. Vera, of course, had the most questions.

After that book, they also read _Beautiful Girl: Celebrating the Wonders of Your Body_ – a book that made Beca quite uncomfortable – and _It's So Amazing! A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families_. The brunette mother blushed through all three books but kept her squirming to a minimum. She commented on nothing - Stacie was handling it seamlessly.

They had asked questions along the way, but they still looked inquisitive as Stacie closed the last book. "So you need a boy and a girl to make a baby?" Bella asked, confirming what she already understood.

"You need sperm from a man and an egg from a woman, yes," Stacie told her, knowing exactly where this was going.

"Then how did we happen?"

Beca decided this was her cue. "Mommy and I couldn't both use our eggs – it doesn't work that way. So we found a very nice man who would give us his sperm – and we used my eggs – and my belly – and that's how you happened."

"We were in your uterus, not your belly," Vera informed her. Beca's eyebrows arched and she grimaced.

"Yes, you are correct, my dear little genius."

Poppy's eyebrows were knit together in concentration. She looked at Chloe, then at Beca, then back at Chloe. "Does that mean you're not our mommy?"

"Oh, dear lord," Beca said, cutting in loudly. "Of course that's not what it means. Sperm and eggs – that's all biology. What matters is who you love. And who your family is, that comes from your heart."

"Your heart is also part of your biology," Vera reminded her.

"Shush," Beca told her, "you know what I mean. Your mommy isn't just the person who carries you around in her b—uterus," she said, quickly changing to the correct term. "She's the person who loves you more than anything in the world – who takes care of you when you're sick, teaches you things, plays with you, and keeps you safe. Understand?" All three girls nodded.

Chloe wiped away tears, which Bella immediately saw. "I love having two mommies," she said softly, into the redhead's ear. Chloe smile got a bit brighter and she let out a sob she'd been holding back. Bella crawled into her lap and hugged her. The other two followed suit. Beca and Stacie exchanged glances. Stacie silently handed Beca another book. Beca smiled and shook her head at her friend. It was called _The Great Big Book of Families_. "Is there nothing you're not prepared for?"

"No," Stacie answered seriously. "I also have picture books about parents in jail for Therese and Bumper Jr. for whenever Amy and Bumper do something stupid. Just waiting for that call," she said dryly. Beca laughed and tried to hide it behind her hand.

"That's a terrible thing to say."

Stacie shrugged and raised an eyebrow. "Always be prepared." After the girls were in bed - and dozens more questions were answered - Stacie enjoyed her well-deserved second bottle of wine, shared among friends.

* * *

I hope you liked it - just kind of fluffy. Not my usual fare. I think I'll add to this as I continue writing my other story, it's a nice counterweight. If you like this, please let me know. I might have another short one about Cynthia Rose, heart shaped pizzas, and a swear jar that could be ready as soon as tomorrow evening. Let me know your thoughts - favorite lines, things you'd like to see from this little family, etc.


	2. Cynthia Rose, Heart-Shaped Pizzas, and the Swear Jar

Thank you for the response so far - so glad people are enjoying. 

One question was asked about pregnant Beca - I'm not sure if that'll be in this set of one shots, but it might be.  For a short glimpse of pregnant Beca, check out "They'll Learn Much More (Than I'll Ever Know)".

* * *

 

**Cynthia Rose, Heart-Shaped Pizzas, and the Swear Jar**

Beca's day had been long. She'd left before her kids were even awake – something she hated with a passion. But it had been inescapable – the president of the label had requested her presence at a day full of meetings. Vision and strategy meetings with board members and trustees that made Beca want to pluck her own eyes out before lunch. But she held strong, offered her opinion unflinchingly, and finally escaped just after five. The president himself had almost chased her to the door.

"Ms. Mitchell – leaving so soon? I want to introduce you to my wife over dinner. She's a big fan."

"Oh, that's so great. Thank you," Beca demurred as politely as possible. "You know, sir, I would love that. But I actually have to get home. My wife and daughters are expecting me. Another time?"

"I'll hold you to it," the man said with a nod. "Have a good evening, Ms. Mitchell. We valued your input today."

"Thank you," she said, forcing another smile before ducking out the door. She took the back stairwell - heels and all - to avoid being stopped again and then booked it to her car. She dialed Chloe from her hands free link while she drove, but there was no answer. Beca knew she was probably in the kitchen – while her phone was in the bedroom or still in her purse.

It unsettled her a bit to arrive home to not see Chloe's car in the drive. There was a vaguely familiar SUV on the side where Beca usually parked, so she parked beside it, lifted her bag from the passenger seat, and walked toward the back door. She could hear music emanating from the house several feet away.

Beca's frown lines deepened; Chloe loved music, but she wasn't keen on having it so loud. Opening the door, Beca's nervous spirits flew away and a smile graced her lips as she took in the sight. She set her bag down and hung up her keys, then leaned back against the closed door to watch. Cynthia Rose was dancing and singing around the kitchen to old-school Kelly Clarkson, wearing one of Chloe's aprons and rolling out pizza dough. All three girls were gathered around, dancing, singing, and watching the pizza crust creation very carefully.

Cynthia Rose, while singing along to songs she helped write for the ever-popular Clarkson, molded the first circle of dough into a puffy heart. One by one, she let the girls step up on the kitchen stool to make her own. Some looked like hearts, others not so much. But they were excited. They didn't even notice Beca until CR turned to get the jar of pizza sauce from the other counter.

"Hey, Cap," she said with a wave and a smile. She called for the house's music system to lower the volume, which it did.

"Mama!" All three of her girls came running, even Vera, who had to stumble off the step stood first. She knelt down to their level. Too late, Beca realized how covered-in-flour they were. And – after three happy, warm, loving hugs – so was her expensive black pants suit.

"You're paying for the dry cleaning," Beca teasingly warned her old friend, pointing at the now-white powdered fabric. Cynthia Rose chuckled. "Hey, my loves. What's going on?"

"Aunt CR is making a pizza party!" Poppy cried.

Beca put a finger to her lips, indicating the child lower her voice. It was something they continued to work on daily. Poppy was often exuberant; and volume came in tandem.

"Aunt CR is making a pizza party!" Poppy repeated, in a more moderate tone.

"Awesome," Beca responded with a smile. "It looks like you helped," she said, lightly tapping her flour-dusted nose. Poppy smiled and Bella nodded solemnly while Vera grinned mischievously. Beca knew, somehow, she had to be the reason for the excess flour.

"We're not done," Poppy told her. "We have to put the toppings on."

"Don't let me stop you," Beca said with a wave of her hand. "I'll be here all night. Go have fun." They all scampered back to the island counter and CR helped them top their pizzas with sauce and cheese. When they all refused any other topping she offered, Beca laughed.

She was standing at the sink, using a slightly damp rag to rub out the flour fingerprints from her pants and jacket. "Have you met children?" She asked. "Seriously, you're offering peppers and mushrooms?"

"I like mushrooms," CR defended. "And I'm sure Chloe will eat mushrooms."

"Chloe will eat anything that grows from the ground," Beca agreed. "Speaking of my beloved wife, where is she?"

"Last-minute parent conference," CR said. "Sent out an all-call to the Bellas for someone to pick up these munchkins from school."

"I was not included in the all-call," Beca told her, raising an eyebrow.

"She said you had an important meeting." The woman looked at Beca with appraising eyes. "And between the Louboutin, Armani, curls, and lipstick – I can see that she wasn't joking."

Beca rolled her eyes. "Yeah. Day full of meetings with the big-wig execs. I think sometimes they just want me dressed up to parade around for the more lecherous executives. I did not sign up for this," she whined, stepping out of her shoes and lifting them into one hand.

"Yeah, you did," Cynthia Rose reminded her. "Me? I write and go home. You make waves, Mitchell. I don't think you even know you're doing it – but you are." Her eyes twinkled as she smiled at her former captain.

"I just want to produce. Sing a little. I don't need these kinds of headaches. Board rooms and strategic planning and playing nice with awful troll-ish people. Ugh."

Cynthia Rose shook her head. "It might not be fun. But we need producers at that table. Otherwise, the executives are making dumb-ass decisions with no perspective on reality."

Beca smiled as all three of her girls widened their eyes at Cynthia Rose.

"Damn it, I did it again, didn't I?" Vera nodded and picked up a jar from a low shelf, bringing it to the counter. Cynthia Rose pulled a bill from her pocket and stuffed it into the decorated glass jar.

"You also said the D word," Bella said quietly. CR shoved another bill into the jar. Beca laughed with amusement. The pizzas were mostly topped, so Beca sent the girls upstairs.

"Go wash your hands and faces, please. Change into something not covered in flour. And pick out pjs and clothes for tomorrow. It's going to take a bit for the pizzas to bake."

CR pointed at one of the empty crusts. "What's your poison, cap?"

"Pepperoni, thank you," Beca said. Vera and Poppy started up the stairs but Bella rounded the kitchen island and grabbed Beca's hand. The young mother looked down at her and saw anxiety in her expression. She knelt down and hugged Bella again.  She stoked the child's hair. "I'll be up in a few minutes, okay? Go do what I asked, please." Bella did.

Beca turned to her old friend, who was shaking her head. "You had to institute that fucking swear jar, didn't you?"

The brunette shrugged. "I had to. Chloe wouldn't stop using the f word. The first time I heard it out of Poppy's mouth, we had to do something. But you're now the largest contributor, at least when Amy and Bumper are on another continent." She paused. "Thanks, for this," she said, nodding at the disaster in the kitchen.

"This is a mess."

"They had fun," Beca said, smiling. She walked towards the stairs. "And, the mess – you're cleaning it up, my friend." Beca walked up the stairs to her bedroom and into the walk-in closet to quickly divest herself of the expensive suit and dark red silk blouse. They went to the pile that required dry cleaning. Her Louboutin's went into their appropriate plastic box in their wall of shoes. She threw on a pair of yoga pants and a long-sleeved Barden t-shirt before going into her bathroom and removing her makeup. She ran her fingers through her curls, loosening them from the holding spray, and yawned as she walked next door to Bella's room.

The child had been nervous for days – and the source was alluding her mothers. Beca found her sitting in front of her bookshelf, gazing absently at the titles. She sat down next to the little girl, folding her legs beneath her. "What's going on, Bells?"

The little girl shrugged but crawled into her lap, her ear resting against her mother's heart. Beca held her for a long time, until she heard Chloe arrive home and tell the other girls it was time for dinner. The redhead stopped in Bella's doorway, still wearing what she'd worn to work. A black dress, belted in red, with lovebirds, hearts, and vines embroidered in the bottom right corner of the skirt. Perfect for an elementary school teacher during the week of Valentine's day.

She met Beca's eyes over Bella's head and they exchanged concerned looks. "Bells, pizza's ready, sweetie," Chloe said gently.

"I'm not really hungry," Bella said, turning to hide her face against Beca's chest.

"Don't you want to show Mommy the really cool heart-shaped pizzas you helped make?"  Beca asked.  Bella shook her head, still clutching to Beca.

"Just come sit with us, then," Chloe said calmly. Beca squeezed her reassuringly and let go, almost lifting her daughter so she could stand. Given little choice, Bella followed them to the kitchen table and sat down in her normal space next to Vera. Beca and Chloe sat at either end of the table and Poppy across from her twin. Cynthia Rose sat next to her, in a seat that was usually vacant unless Stacie was visiting for dinner.

Bella grew more cheerful at dinner when Chloe fawned over the heart-shaped Pizzas and told them what a good job they'd done. She was also pulled in by her sisters' good humor. Both Poppy and Vera were giddy, a dangerous combination.

"What has you two so wound up?" Beca asked eventually, pointing her salad fork at Vera. She studied both redheads – cheeks pink from so much giggling. Her eyes moved to Cynthia Rose. "Dear Lord, how much sugar did you give them?"

"Enough that I'm getting out of here right after dinner," the woman answered with a cheeky grin. Beca shook her head.

"Yeah – you're off the babysitting list."

"Mama!" Poppy cried. "Aunt CR is fun!"

"See?" Cynthia Rose said. "I am fun."

"Your mama is just teasing. Of course Aunt CR can still babysit – but maybe we can lay down a few more ground rules about sugar," she suggested cheerfully. "Thank you, Cynthia Rose, for a lovely dinner. And for keeping an eye on our munchkins," Chloe said.

"Any time." They finished dinner and Cynthia Rose insisted on helping Chloe with the massive cleanup. Beca told the girls to get their shoes and sweaters and told Chloe they were going on a walk.

"Aren't you tired?" Chloe asked, sympathetically.  Without makeup, the bags under the smaller woman's eyes were pronounced.  

"I need them to be tired," Beca said, pointing after the girls. "I'm just going to let them run around the block a few hundred times. We'll be back." She winked and went in search of her own shoes and sweatshirt.

Vera and Poppy did run down the sidewalks on their way to the neighborhood park. They stopped at every gap in the sidewalk and waited for Beca and Bella – who were walking at a relatively quick clip – to catch up. They would all cross together – then it would start again. Bella held tightly to her mother's hand, but didn't seem as upset as she had before dinner. Once they reached the park, Beca walked them to one of the sections that held swings and more things to climb on than she could count.

"You stay in this area," Beca said, indicating the edges of the blue rubber square the play equipment was on. She stood under the monkey bars since she saw it was Vera's first plan. She spotted her daughter, but the little monkey needed no help getting from one side to the other. Bella and Poppy began climbing up the rope netting to the castle-type structure. Vera followed quickly after, giving Beca a blessedly smaller section of the world to watch.

After lots of climbing and sliding and running, they made their way to the swings.  Naturally, they all wanted to be pushed. Beca obliged them, smiling as Poppy decided it was the perfect opportunity to sing the newest Beatles' Song that had appeared on her favorite Children's program – _Good Day Sunshine_. Her sisters, of course, decided to join in. Beca certainly wasn't judging her children on their singing abilities – or their natural gift with harmony. But if she were – even a tiny bit - she would have been proud. The sun was beginning to set once they finished _Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds_. Beca clapped her hands before slowing all three of the swings. Poppy immediately began whining.

"Mama, I wasn't done."

"Daughter, I am tried," Beca whined back. Then she grew more serious. "We've been here for quite some time. I'd say you had a very nice afternoon and evening."

"We did," Poppy admitted, lower lip still sticking out a bit. Beca leaned down to drop a kiss on her head and gave her a playful sway on the backside.

"Then stop pouting, my love. Come on, let's go." She held out her hands and Bella and Poppy took them. Vera latched on to Bella and they began the walk home.

Once they were inside, she told them to go upstairs and play. "Quietly," she added, smiling at them. In the kitchen, she found Cynthia Rose preparing to leave and Chloe sipping a cup of tea.

"Thanks again, Cynthia Rose," Beca said. "They had a really good time."

"So did I, cap. Your little mini-mes are pretty cool."

"We like them," Chloe told her, smirking over her mug.

"Eh," Beca said, shrugging. "They're hardly returnable, so they'll do," she teased. "Tell Mable we said hi."

"Will do. Good night and god speed to both of you. I don't know how you're gonna put those kids to bed."

"You better disappear before we make you stay and deal with it," Beca told her. Cynthia Rose was gone – leaving the two mothers looking at one another.

"Hi," Beca said softly, moving to the chair next to her wife.

"Hey," Chloe responded, leaning over to kiss her. "It's seven and we're just now saying hello. This is nuts."

"Yes it is," Beca agreed. "And it's only going to get crazier if we don't get them into bed soon."

"Second winds cannot happen," Chloe said, eyes wide.

"No," Beca agreed. "Definitely not.  What's the plan?"  Chloe's expression became one that Beca knew well from their years in the Bellas - she was formulating her plan of attack. 

"They need baths.  You take your mini-me – she's a slowpoke. I'll get the other two."

"Braids instead of hair dryers?"

"Brilliant," Chloe agreed with a nod and an approving look. She glanced at her watch. "We can be reading bedtime stories in half an hour."

"It's a plan," Beca told her, leaning in to kiss her one more time. They were up the stairs in minutes. Beca dimmed every light possible and closed the darkening shades in each bedroom.  Natural melatonin production was her friend. Chloe gathered both redheads into Poppy's bathroom and threw them in at the same time.

Beca found Bella among a pile of stuffed animals. She had them acting out something. "What'cha doing, kiddo?" She asked, kneeling down beside her daughter.

"We're having a play."

"What play is that?"

"Romeo and Juliet."

"How do you know about Romeo and Juliet?" Beca asked. "And come on, it's bath time." Bella didn't argue – but Chloe was not wrong. She was a poke if there ever was one. She undressed slowly, putting each item into her hamper one at a time. She tested the water temperature three times with her little hand before finally agreeing to let Beca help her into the tub.

Once she was in the water, Beca began wetting and shampooing her hair. "Now, where did you learn about Romeo and Juliet?"

"Mrs. McBea is reading it to us this week for Valentine's Day."

"Interesting choice for first grade," Beca responded. "What do you know so far?"

"They talk funny. And Juliet's family doesn't like Romeo's family, so they won't let them be friends. Would you ever not let us be friends with someone?"

"That is an interesting question," Beca said, indicating she should tip her head back so she could rinse. "It would depend on why we weren't comfortable with you being friends with that person."

"Why don't Romeo and Juliet's families like each other? I don't understand that part."

"I honestly don't remember," Beca told her. "It's been awhile since I read it. But let me see what I can find out for you, okay? We could even call Grandpa tomorrow. I happen to know he'd love to talk about this." Bella nodded contentedly and was mostly quiet as Beca finished bathing her and then helped her out of the tub to dry. Pajamas donned, she towel-dried the little girl's hair as much as possible and they sat on Bella's bed, where Beca began to carefully comb out the long stands. "Two braids, or one?"

"Can you do the ones that go like this?" Bella asked, indicating braids that wrapped around her head.

"I can do that," Beca told her. "Those are called Heidi braids."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure. What else did you do at school today?" Bella went on about her day, describing what they'd learned in math, what she read during quiet reading time, and how she had her favorite centers that morning - music and building. By the time Beca was finishing with her hair, Bella was describing the point in the day when Cynthia Rose had picked them up after school.

Chloe appeared just as they finished, Vera and Poppy in hand. They two little girls crawled up on the bed and Beca and Chloe arranged themselves against the headboard. Vera in Beca's lap, Poppy in Chloe's, and Bella between them. Chloe reached for the book they had been reading and opened it. She read two chapters, voices and all, and paused frequently to answer questions – or to ask them. By the time she finished, all three girls were yawning.

The book was set aside and Chloe sent Poppy and Vera to their rooms. "We'll be in in a minute," she promised. Beca turned out Bella's light and helped her under the covers. She tucked her in – and she and Chloe lay on either side of her.

"Goodnight, my love."

"Goodnight, mama."

"We love you, sweetheart."

"Love you too, mommy." They both kissed her.

"Any requests?" Beca asked.

"Dorothy's Song."

"I suppose that's doable," she replied. She kissed Bella's cheek one more time. "Close your eyes." Beca hummed, finding the right note.

_When all the world is a hopeless jumble/ and the raindrops tumble all around/ Heaven opens a magic lane; When all the clouds darken up the skyway/ there's a rainbow highway to be found/ leading from your windowpane; To a place beyond the sun, just a step beyond the rain.  Somewhere, Over the rainbow...  
_

Chloe joined her for the chorus, harmonizing with her until the end. The crept from Bella's room, closed the door, and moved on to Poppy, then Vera. They each requested their own song, which they normally did. On their way back through, they listened at doors to make sure everyone was actually staying in bed – then went to their own room.

"It's not even eight thirty and I could go to sleep right now," Beca told her wife as she collapsed onto the bed.

Chloe climbed up next to her and brushed a stray lock of hair from her forehead. "Then you won't get to hear about my crappy day. And I won't get to complain about how I didn't get to see you all dressed up."

"You saw me this morning," Beca teased.

"That was before coffee. Totally doesn't count."

"How about this?" Beca offered, waiting for Chloe to meet her eyes. "Next weekend, we'll find someone to babysit the kids, I'll get dressed up just for you, and we can go do something fancy."

"Like a restaurant without crayons and paper placemats?" Chloe asked, feigning excess excitement.

"You dream big, Chlo," Beca said with a laugh. "How about the new restaurant in the cultural district – Nola? Something like that."

"You can get us in to Nola?" Chloe asked. "This close to Valentine's Day?  Have I told you lately how sexy it is when you use your connections to woo me?"

"Woo you?" Beca laughed. "I've already got you. Unless there's something you're not telling me."

"You know what I mean," she responded with a smile. "But seriously, that sounds amazing. I love our kids – but I could totes use a break." Beca growled playfully at the purposefully silly shortening of "totally."

"Let me know what show you want to see – I'll get Turtle man on tickets tomorrow."

Chloe giggled. "Poor, poor Theo. How does he deal with you day in and day out?"

"I'm the only woman his wife isn't suspicious of," Beca told her. "So he has to put up with me. Plus, I make him a lot of money."

"A lot," Chloe agreed. She smiled as she snuggled closer to Beca.

"So, Mrs. Beale, tell me about your crappy day." They held each other and reviewed their less-than stellar days– then basked in the blessings that they came home to.

* * *

 

Please review - it helps inspire me :-)  Let me know favorite parts, questions, things you'd be interested in seeing, etc.


	3. Theo, Breastfeeding, and a Return to the Stage

**Theo, Breastfeeding, and a Return to the Stage**

"How am I possibly doing this?" Beca asked, her voice ringing with only a bit of the nerves she was feeling. Her stylist was working on her hair, creating perfect curls in her chestnut locks. Beca was holding Bella, nursing her as discreetly as she could. She hated doing it in front of people – but unless she wanted to delay the concert by an hour, she needed to multitask. "I can't do this."

"Sure you can," Chloe said cheerfully. The redhead was standing against the dressing room's vanity table, rocking a fussy Poppy. "You'll be aca-awesome."

Beca glared at her. "Seriously, Chlo, the aca- has to stop. We have children now." The redhead simply stuck out her tongue.

"Don't be cranky because you're nervous."

"I'm allowed to be nervous!" Beca told her. "It's been almost a year since I've been on a stage this big. And new songs – people hate new songs."

"Until they love them," Chloe reminded her. "You can do this." The hairstylist finished, told Beca she looked amazing, and wished her luck. She left and Beca traded babies with Chloe. It was a skill they now had down to choreographed perfection. Once they were switched, Beca moved to the sofa to sit and nurse Poppy. Theo decided to knock – then walk in without waiting.

He turned around immediately upon seeing Beca, covering his eyes. "I'm sorry!"

"Dude, you can't see anything," Beca told him. He turned back around then, but still kept his eyes away from Beca. "Theo, you see women dressed in less on a daily basis. I see what some of those other artists and dancers wear."

"Not everyone can be as classy as you, Beca," he replied. "And I have a respect for you that doesn't allow me to ogle."

"I'm flattered. But comparing a woman breastfeeding to women dressing scantily and being ogled is kind of sexist. I think. Or something. I can't keep up with modern social conventions," she said with a flick of her hand. "Just don't made an effort to see my nipples and we'll be cool." Theo turned pink, but nodded.

"Yes, well. Lovely conversation though this is. Are you almost ready? They've got about twenty more minutes in their set," he said, speaking of the opening act.

"I only need ten," Beca promised. "I'll be ready." A few minutes later, after tucking Poppy into the nest Chloe had created in the playpen, Beca stood up and fixed the top of her black, lace-covered dress. She picked up her jacket and shrugged into it, stepping to the mirror to double check her jewelry and makeup. She turned back to Chloe and posed. "Does it work?"

"You look incredibly sexy," Chloe told her in a low voice. She'd set Bella into the playpen as well, leaving her arms free to wrap around her wife. "I don't think I can let you go out there looking this good."

Beca kissed her softly and pulled back. "No choice, babe. We're down to five minutes." Chloe stepped back and looked at her again. She readjusted Beca's bosom in the dress.

"Your boobs really do look marvelous."

"Your appreciation is noted." She kissed Chloe again, reluctantly pulling back and pursing her lips.

"I would totally stay here if I could," she said wistfully. "But we have really expensive tastes now – and if I lose my job, that would suck."

"It would," Chloe said with an amused smile. "I do like my designer dresses and fancy shoes. And the Audi. I love my Audi." She nodded. "You do have to work. But I'll be here when you get back," she promised.

"Good enough," Beca said with a smile. She winked. "Make good choices."

Chloe watched as she followed Theo out of the dressing room and into the controlled chaos that was backstage. Chloe had already seen the show several times. That night, she would stay with her daughters. She turned on the sound once the monitor showed that Beca was onstage. She watched the show from the dressing room while her babies slept.


	4. Amy, a Day Out, and the Blue Hair

**Amy, a Day Out, and the Blue Hair**

Amy and Bumper were visiting. Despite her better judgement, Beca had agreed to allow Chloe to invite them to stay for the two weeks they would be in town. They and their children were utilizing the third-floor guest rooms, blocking Beca from truly peaceful use of her home studio. It was getting to her. On Saturday morning, she helped Chloe make breakfast for everyone – an egg bake and fresh fruit.

The Beale-Mitchell family took their seats at the breakfast table, watching in curiosity as the Allen family immediately began grabbing things and eating. The three girls watched their mothers for a reaction, but received none. Beca began serving her kids and Chloe before filling her own plate. Once everyone had food, the girls picked up their forks. "What are you guys doing today?" Chloe asked Amy.

"Eh, we thought we'd check out the zoo." Vera's eyes widened but she said nothing. "Would you like to come along?" Amy asked. The youngest redhead lit up, but she remained silent and waited for her mothers to answer.

"I have work to catch up on," Beca said quickly. "I'm going to be in the studio for most of the day." She needed to get several things done – and had been interrupted every time she tried to hunker down in her studio in the four days since they'd arrived.

"Aubrey is coming over early this afternoon," Chloe said. "And I have a lot of odds and ends I need to get done with before then. But thank you," she said with a soft smile.

"We'd be happy to take the munchkins," Amy said, causing Beca's head to shoot up and her eyes to lock with Chloe's.

"I'm not sure – "

"Please!" Vera said, immediately. Bella looked hesitant, but Poppy was offering an interested look.

"Are you sure?" Beca asked. "That's five kids."

"Eh," Amy said. "Your kids are barely human. They're like petite, well-dressed little robots. They listen to everything you say."

"Yeah, that's called good behavior," Beca told her wryly. "Ames, I'm not sure you want all five kids all day –"

"We can just leave ours at the monkey house," Bumper said. "No one will know the difference."

"Dad!" Their daughter, Kayley, cried. Bumper Jr. catapulted a piece of egg bake at his father. Beca glared and shook her head - and he looked immediately contrite.

"Oh, come on, Beca," Amy said. "Don't you trust me?" Beca's eyebrows drew together and her lips pursed as she looked at her wife.

She said softly. "How honest are we being, here?"

"It's fine," Chloe said cheerfully, not allowing Beca to continue. "If the girls want to go, they can go." Poppy and Vera grinned. Bella looked at her mothers to help. "You want to stick around here, today, Bells?" Chloe asked softly.

"Oh, come on," Poppy said to her twin. "It'll be fun. You really shouldn't spend so many Saturdays just reading."

"I do more than that," Bella objected. But actually, spending the day reading sounded much better than traipsing through the potentially-crowded zoo with Aunt Amy and Uncle Bumper – neither one of which she was completely comfortable with. And Bumper Jr. seemed to make it his business to tease her – and was good at not getting caught. "I'm just not really in the mood."

"Don't be a party pooper," Bumper Jr. said with a sneer. Bella scowled at him but acquiesced to her twin.

Beca let out a deep breath. "Okay, we'll give it a shot." They followed the girls upstairs and slathered them with sunscreen after they changed into whatever they wanted to wear to the zoo. After all three girls were ready, Beca followed them down to the living room where the Allen family was waiting. She handed Amy the bottle of 100 SPF sunscreen. Amy looked at it oddly.

"This is a bit excessive, short stack."

"Amy, the sun is hot here. It needs reapplied after four hours – or if they get wet." She paused and grimaced. "Don't get them wet," she added.

"Will they turn into gremlins?" Bumped asked, teasingly. Beca rolled her eyes and looked at Chloe, who walked closer and put an arm around her wife.

"Girls, have fun – and be good," Chloe said. She hugged all three of them, even though Bella was currently going through a phase where she didn't want to be hugged. Beca followed suit. She looked at Amy.

"I am trusting you – be careful." Amy gave her a mock salute and a few seconds later they were gone. Beca began pacing immediately. "This was a terrible idea," she told Chloe.

Chloe smiled. "Becs, they're 10 and 12. They're responsible kids. And even if Amy doesn't always show the best judgement, she does love our girls – and she won't let anything happen to them. They'll be fine." After receiving a picture from Poppy that showed them all arrived at the zoo, Beca calmed down. She went to work in her studio – and surprisingly, the day flew.

It was almost dinner time when her girls returned home. And, much to her surprise and horror, they had blue hair. Well, highlights of blue hair intermingled with red and dark brown.

Beca schooled her expression; she had no desire to scare her girls. Once they were inside, she hugged them and kissed them, and told them to go wash their hands for dinner. She sent the Allen children to do the same. Once they were out of earshot, she rounded on Amy. "Tell me that washes out," she said angrily.

"Of course it does," Amy said uncomfortably. "Who do you take me for, Beca?"

"In how many washes?"

"Um."

"Amy!"

"Oh, come on, Beca. Let them have some fun."

"We have fun, frequently! It doesn't require the semi-permanent change in hair color. They go to a private school, Amy. There are rules! Even if I didn't hate it, it wouldn't be okay. And I do hate it! You can't just change someone else's child's hair color! And how the hell do you get hair dyed at the zoo?"

Chloe came rushing down the stairs – she had clearly seen the girls. "Beca, calm down," she said patiently. "It's okay. This is not worth additional stress. We'll talk about it later – the girls are about to come back down." Beca was fuming, but she took a few deep breaths and forced herself to calm down.

The remainder of the day went quickly. After dinner, there was a begged-for session of night swimming. Chloe and Beca ended the party at nine, telling the girls they needed to get ready for bed.

The Allen children protested and Amy and Bumper insinuated that they were boring and Amy-flat out called them stodgy, but they held their ground. Bedtimes were important – especially with two budding insomniacs in the family.

"We can have more fun tomorrow," Beca told them. Her children didn't argue. They looked quite prepared, perhaps even relieved, to be heading toward routine.

Half an hour later, after helping Vera with drying her hair, she stopped in Bella's room. The young almost-teen was almost finished with her own hair. Beca sat on the bed and watched as Bella continued brushing and drying.

"Will this come out?" Bella asked, after turning off the dryer. She was fingering a strand of blue.

"Yes," Beca answered. "But we're going to the salon tomorrow to make sure it doesn't damage your hair. Did you really want blue hair?" She tried – and succeeded – to sound curious and not judgmental.

"No," Bella said immediately.

"Then why did you do it?"

"Bumper Jr. said I was scared. I wasn't scared – I just didn't want blue hair."

"Reasonable," Beca told her with a nod. She scooted over and Bella crawled under the covers. The other girls and Chloe appeared within minutes, climbing onto the bed. Chloe read from their newest bedtime story –  _The Golden Compass_. As usual, Vera wanted another chapter – just one more – and – because it was a weekend, Chloe indulged. Finishing for the night, Chloe set the book aside and teasingly shooed Vera and Poppy away.

"We'll be in in a few minutes," she called after them. She looked down at Bella. "Now, that was an interesting day."

"Yeah," Bella agreed with a giggle. Her expression changed then, to one of ponderance. "Mama, I have a question."

"What's that?" Beca asked, dreading the response. Having spent the day with Amy, the question could be anything. Truly anything. Maybe not three-dimensional calculus, but still…

She looked at Beca as she leaned against Chloe. "Were you and Aunt Amy really best friends?"

"Yeah, we were. Why do you ask?"

"You are very different."

Beca shrugged. "Sometimes friends are like that. Sometimes it's good for you, even. I think Amy made me take more risks than I might have on my own. We had a lot of fun together. And I like to think I kept her out of serious trouble – and/or alive – through college."

"She is fun," Bella said, giggling at something she clearly remembered from the day.

"Yes, she is."

"She can be kind of embarrassing, though."

"Aren't all adults kind of embarrassing when you're 12?" Bella shook her head.

"You and mom aren't too bad."

"I'm relieved to hear that."

"Whew," Chloe said, throwing her hand up to her forehead in dramatic faux-relief.

"And Aunt Stacie is cool."

Beca laughed. "Well, you're not wrong. She'll be extremely triumphant to hear that assessment. She has always deemed herself coolest in all things."

"So you had fun today?" Chloe asked, wrapping up their conversation with a smile.

"Yeah," Bella agreed.

"Good," the redheaded mother said. "Goodnight, Bells."

"Goodnight, love." Both mothers kissed her and Bella snuggled under the covers, her favorite bear in her arms. Chloe began and Beca joined in one of their favorite bedtime songs,

" _Goodnight, sweetheart, well, it's time to go/_

_Goodnight, sweetheart, well, it's time to go/_

_I hate to leave you but I really must say,_

_Oh, goodnight, sweetheart, goodnight."_

In the next ten minutes, they spoke to Poppy about why she wasn't keeping the hair dye, to Vera about what chemicals were probably in the hair dye, and sang the song twice more. They were still smiling, arms around one another, as they approached their own bedroom. It was still early for them to go to bed, but they were heading there together until they heard a crash from the living room, shattering their peace.

Beca's hands went to her head. "Oh, God. I can't," she whined. "Chloe, I can't –"

"Go," she said, nodding to their bedroom. "Put on your headphones. I'll take care of it and be back. I'll bring tea."

"I can't let you face that alone," Beca said, grimacing. She wanted to hide in her bedroom, but that wasn't fair to the woman she loved.

"We'll square up later," Chloe told her, winking.

"Oh, dear lord," Beca said, blushing. But she was calmer – and went into her bedroom, closing the heavy door and going into the bathroom. She listened to music as she showered and fixed her own hair. By the time she was finished and climbing into bed, Chloe returned with the promised tea. Beca kissed her before accepting it. "How bad?"

"Material possessions aren't everything," Chloe teased.

"Oh, please, tell me what to expect."

"The Grammys need a new home and we need glass in a few frames. One frame might need replaced."

"The tree picture?" Beca asked, referring to her favorite of their wedding photos that contained a flowering tree.

"Not a casualty," Chloe promised her, dropping a kiss on her head before crawling into bed with her.

"The big one?" It was a large canvas from a photo shoot they'd had done when the girls were six and eight. The three girls skipping into a gorgeous field wearing pastel flowy dresses while Chloe and Beca watched, visible only from the back - in the bottom corner – by one's braids and the other's curls.

"Safe," Chloe promised.

The next day, the blue hair was all gone. Beca's stylist striped the color without damaging the girls' hair. Beca made a new rule that she informed Amy of emphatically – nothing about her daughters was to change without her permission. The rest of their visit was just as interesting – and by the time they left, the Beale-Mitchell household was ready for a two-week long nap to recover.

 

* * *

I apologize for the delay in all three of my active stories - life has been a little harder lately - but I am back to writing after not touching it for two months - so I am hoping to be able to update more regularly.  Please do share your thoughts - let me know what you liked, didn't like, one-shots from this universe you'd like to see, etc. 


	5. Bella, Panic, and It's Going to Be Okay

**I apologize for the delay. I haven't been writing lately at all – but I'm not giving up on these stories. Someone asked me a question awhile ago about how Beca feels about Bella's anxiety issues. This answers that question. Most of these one-shots have been cute and happy. I tried to work in some positive energy – but it's about panic attacks, so it's a little less light than the other one shots. Thanks for reading – enjoy!**

 

**Bella, Panic, and It's Going to be Okay**

* * *

Beca didn't like to work on weekends, but sometimes it was unavoidable. To compensate for the lost time, she'd dragged herself out of bed early that morning, well before the rest of the family, so she could finish what needed to be done and return home relatively early. It was just after lunch on a gorgeous summer day when she pulled into the drive and walked to her front door. She was accosted as soon as she entered. Bella flew at her, hugging her waist. Beca, after bracing herself against the wall of the entry, detached her daughter and knelt down to her level.

"Hey, Bells," she said, offering her arms. She hugged the little girl close, concern flowing over her as she felt the child shaking. She rubbed a hand soothingly up and down the child's back. "What's wrong, kiddo? What happened?" Bella simply buried herself further in Beca's arms. She tried a few more times, but Bella wasn't talking.

"Where's your mom?" Beca asked. "And your sisters?"

"In the backyard," Bella eventually told her.

"Okay," Beca said, pulling away enough to stand up. "Let me say hi to your mom – and we'll go upstairs and snuggle for a while. Sound good?" Bella nodded, her eyes focused firmly on the floor. She held onto her mother until Beca got to the French doors that led to the deck and backyard. Bella let go and moved to sit on the stairs across the room. Beca motioned with a finger that she'd only be a minute – and walked out to the backyard. Chloe was sitting on a lounge chair near the pool, enjoying the sunshine and watching their two other daughters playing in the water.

Beca opened the gate to let herself in and walked over to sit on the edge of Chloe's chair. She kissed her wife's cheek and Chloe squeezed her hand in greeting. "Welcome home," she said.

"Having fun?" Beca asked.

Chloe shrugged. "Poppy and Vera are. I'm a little worried. Bella has been acting oddly all morning. She barely ate – she won't talk to me. She almost had a fit when I suggested we swim. She wouldn't put on her swimsuit. And then she sat out here and pouted until she heard your car. She won't tell me what's wrong."

"I'll see what I can figure out," Beca promised. They kissed gently and she blew kisses to her other daughters and they waved and greeted her happily.

Back in the house, Beca slipped out of her shoes and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator before walking over to the stairs and offering Bella her hand. The little girl took it, following her mother to her bedroom. Beca closed the door and pulled the desk chair over to Bella's reading chair before sitting. Bella was not thrilled with that turn of events and tugged at Beca's hand.

"We're going to talk first," Beca told her calmly, nodding to the reading chair. Bella reluctantly climbed into it, hugging the throw pillow close. "Love, what's wrong?"

Bella shook her head. "I don't know," she admitted in a small voice.

"Are you angry with someone?" The little girl shook her head. "Sad about something?" Another shake. Beca sighed. She slid to her knees on the floor so she was directly in front of Bella. "Love, I need you to help me here. Close your eyes." Bella did. "Can you tell me how you feel?"

Hesitantly, Bella told her. "My heart hurts. It hurts to breathe. My stomach hurts. My head is spinny." Beca closed her own eyes. A panic attack. Her nine-year-old daughter was suffering from a fucking panic attack. Beca had to bite back her emotions lest she ice the cake with her own attack.

"Oh, love, I'm so sorry. When did it start?"

Bella shrugged. "I woke up any my brain was really busy. I can't get it to stop," she admitted, her voice breaking. Tears pricked her eyes and threatened to spill.

Beca got her daughter settled in bed and kissed her forehead. "I have to grab an icepack from the kitchen. I'll be right back." Bella looked like she wanted to argue, but she let her mother go. Beca hurried to the kitchen and grabbed two of the soft, flexible icepacks from the freezer.

Chloe had come in for a refill on her iced tea and watched in question.

"She's having a panic attack," Beca told her wife, shaking her head.

"Seriously?" Chloe asked. "She's nine."

"It's a panic attack," Beca assured her, voice strained. "Can you see if you can make an appointment with Dr. Jo on Monday?" Chloe nodded and Beca hurried back up the stairs. Bella was curled into her favorite stuffed bear, big alligator tears streaming down her cheeks. "Oh, my love," Beca said softly. She climbed onto the bed and sat behind Bella, rubbing her shoulder. "It's going to be okay."

"I don't feel good," Bella hiccupped.

"I know, love. Let's see if we can help. Can you lay on your stomach for me?" Bella rolled to her stomach and Beca rubbed her back, feeling knots along her neck and shoulders. "I'm going to use ice, love. That might help." She placed the icepacks along Bella's shoulders and neck – and across her lower back. Bella sighed in relief when they were in place.

"Any better?" A nod. "Okay, kiddo, I need you to help me. We're going to play a game." Bella looked suspiciously at her mother, but was still listening. "I need you to tell me five things you can see. Including adjectives."

"Mama—"

"Trust me," Beca said softly. "Five things you can see – tell me what they are."

Bella sighed. "The violet flowers," she said, looking at her nightstand. "The glass lamp. The soft carpet. The white closet door. The full bookshelf."

"Good job," Beca said. She was stroking Bella's hair, lightly massaging her scalp. "Now what are four things you can touch?"

"The soft bedspread. The thin sheets. The cold icepack. Rough denim," she said, petting Beca's jeans.

"Yep," Beca answered. "Good job. Now, three things you can hear."

There was silence as Bella listened. "Your voice – it's pretty. Poppy outside – she's loud. And birds calling."

"What are two things you can smell?"

"Eucalyptus and Spearmint," she said, indicating her shampoo. "And soft lavender."

"And what is one thing you can taste?"

"Minty toothpaste," Bella said. She blinked up at her mother. "Mama, why are we doing this?"

"Close your eyes and take a deep breath," Bella did. "How do you feel?"

"A little bit better," Bella said, amazed as she opened her eyes.

"Awesome," Beca responded, tapping her nose. "Good job. Let's try it again." They went through all five steps – three more times.

"Why does that work?" Bella asked, once they finished and she was breathing normally.

"I think what happened this morning – is that you had a panic attack. And one of the reasons that happens is because we're worried too much – and stuck inside our heads. That game gets your thoughts outside of your head."

The ice had melted, so Beca threw the icepacks on the floor and lay down next to Bella, rubbing her back. "Do you know what you were worried about?" She asked softly.

"Everything," Bella answered in a small voice. "I'm sorry," she said, tears pricking her eyes.

"Oh, love," Beca said, admonishing voice. "This is not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong." She took a deep breath. "You are perfect and beautiful and amazing. And you didn't do anything wrong," she repeated. "Do you hear me?" Bella nodded. She yawned, hiding her face against Beca's side as she did. "Sweetheart, you're exhausted. Close your eyes."

Bella looked immediately panicked, grabbing for Beca. "I'm not going anywhere," Beca reassured her. She resituated herself against the head board and pulled back the covers, making room for Bella to snuggle under them. Eventually, Bella was coaxed beneath the blankets – and fell asleep.

Becca, emotionally exhausted as she was, did not close her eyes right away. She texted Chloe, hatching the plan for what they were going to do once Bella woke up. After that was squared away, Beca did scoot down under the blankets and curl around her daughter, falling asleep herself.

She woke two hours later to find Chloe sitting in the rocking chair by the window, watching them. "How long did I sleep?"

"It's almost six," Chloe told her. "But there's no hurry on anything. Stacie came to take Poppy and Vera out to dinner and movie – they won't be back until almost 10. Beca nodded, running her hands through her hair as she sat up. She took several deep breaths, clearly calming and gathering herself.

"What are we going to do?"

"We'll get through this," Chloe told her. "It's going to be okay?"

"How can you know that?"

Chloe stood and crossed the room to sit beside Beca and pulled her into her arms, hugging her close. "Because I have you. And you have me. And we have three beautiful daughters. And these last nine years have taught me that's all we really need to make things work. Trust me on this."

Beca nodded, relaxing into her embrace. They sat together quietly until Bella woke up half an hour later.

Chloe smiled gently as she sat up. "How are you feeling, sweetie?"

"Okay," Bella said, with a non-committal shrug.

"You need to talk to us," Beca reminded her. "We can't help if you don't. How do you really feel?"

Bella shrugged. "Not as bad as before. But still kind of weird."

"What does weird feel like?" Chloe asked, trying to get more detail. She crawled over Beca to sit on Bella's other side so the child was sandwiched between her mothers.

"My chest is heavy," Bella said, her hand coming to rest over her heart. "And it's kind of still hard to breathe."

"Like before?" Beca asked.

"A little better," Bella replied.

"Let's try something. Why don't you try to tell us about all the things you're worried about? We'll write them all down and figure it out together. Can we try that?" Tears slipped from her eyes.

"Mama –"

"Please," Beca said calmly. "Can we try? If we need to stop, we'll stop. But I think it might help."

Bella nodded. Chloe got up and disappeared, returning a few moments later with a large white board in a colorful picture frame that lived in her office, along with several colorful markers.

"You want to write?" Chloe asked her daughter. "Or do you want me to?"

"You can," Bella said. With lots of prompting from her mothers and breaks for crying and breathing exercises, she spilled everything bothering her. They talked through every worry in her cluttered head and by the time they stopped talking, Bella seemed calmer. They ate a quiet dinner and watched happy, cheer-up movies:  _Horton Hears a Who_  and  _Brave_.

That night, after the girls were all in bed, Beca disappeared into her studio. She usually came to bed around 11. When she was still missing by midnight, Chloe went in search. She walked into the studio and stood against the mixing board, forcing Beca to look at her. The smaller woman removed her headphones and looked up at her wife. "I just have some things to finish – you can go to bed without me. Sorry, I should have told you that."

Chloe stood her ground, still studying her wife. "Beca, it can wait until tomorrow. It's been an exhausting day. Come to bed." Beca shook her head and stared into her computer. Chloe knelt in front of her chair, taking her hands, and pulling her so their eyes met. "Talk to me."

Beca shook her head again, pulling her hands away from Chloe so she could wipe the tears that began streaming from her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Beca asked, her voice incredulous. "Chloe, our nine-year-old is having fucking panic attacks!" She cried.

"We're going to figure it out," Chloe reminded her calmly. "Together."

"This is my fault."

"What?" She took Beca's hands again and squeezed them. "Beca, this is not your fault."

"Anxiety is a learned behavior – I couldn't pull it together enough that she could avoid this – "

"Boiling it down to that is drastic," Chloe told her. "It is not your fault. Things happen – life is stressful. Bella has always been sensitive. And you deal with things beautifully, honey. The only people who even would suspect you struggle with anxiety are your closest friends and family." Beca continued to sniffle. "You are an amazing mom – this is not your fault."

Whether Beca believed her or just wanted Chloe to drop it, she nodded. She allowed Chloe to drag her to bed but didn't sleep much that night. The following weeks were full of doctor's appointments – first the pediatrician – then three child psychologists until they found one that Bella seemed to like. Who seemed to click.

Six weeks after the first panic attack, the Saturday morning was a glorious one. Beca sat on the back deck in sunglasses and a straw hat as she read her way through a book. Bella had been sitting beside her doing the same, but got up and walked towards the swing set where Poppy and Vera were playing. Beca said nothing, but watched as her daughter approaching joining in for the first time in weeks. To their credit, Vera and Poppy acted as though it were totally normal. Vera grabbed Bella's hand and dragged her to the jungle gym. Poppy followed them, hanging upside down over the blue bars as she chattered on about something Beca couldn't hear.

She was so focused on watching her daughters that she didn't hear Chloe return from her run until her wife sat next to her, taking Bella's abandoned chair. Chloe smiled. "That's nice to see."

Beca nodded. Bella's laugh practically rang through the yard as a genuine one sounded for the first time in weeks. Beca wiped away a tear and let out a noise that was half sob and half laugh. "That's even better to hear."

"Definitely."

"It's going to be okay," Beca said, as though suddenly realizing that. Life was moving on. Things were improving. There would still be bad days. But there would be good days. Like this. Amazing moments. Like the one they were in.

"Well, duh," Chloe teased, scooting her chair closer and wrapping an arm around her wife.  She whipped off Beca's hat and tossed it.  It was an impediment to being as close as Chloe wanted to be. "You should listen to me more often. It would save you a lot of worry." Beca laughed and turned to hide her face against Chloe as she sobbed. From pent-up anxiety but also the relief that finally had washed over her.

"I love you."

"I love you."

* * *

Thanks so much for reading. I'm sorry for the delays. I haven't been writing much lately. But I had this almost done and wanted to get something out. I hope it was worth reading. I hope there was enough cheer to balance the anxiety and sadness. I tried – let me know how it worked.


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